By Warren Brown
I went home to Louisiana without ever leaving my adopted state of Virginia. All it took was one day of hauling, towing and delivering in a 2014 Ram 3500 Big Horn crew cab pickup truck. The experience transported me to summers spent at my grandparents’ place in New Iberia, Louisiana.
But Mama and Poppa Provost had nothing as grand as a Ram 3500 Big Horn. They had no truck or car at all. Trucks used then were de facto community property — owned by neighbours who were construction workers or farmers, who lent their vehicles and offered labour as needed, accepting payment only in the form of boiled crabs and crayfish.
Trucks were a unifying force. They brought the community together for work, worship and celebration. They were symbols of hard work and prosperity, if you owned one. If you didn’t, they gave you something to aspire to, especially if you were a young man.
I’ve always respected pickup trucks as much as I’ve loved them. They get things done. For the same reason, I’ve always feared them, too, especially if they showed up in my driveway on or near a weekend when I planned to do nothing except loaf about. Pickup trucks mean get up and move, which is what we did with the Ram 3500 Big Horn.
My wife, Mary Anne, and I hauled new furniture — suddenly available at a “good price” made even better if we bring it home ourselves — the moment the truck appeared. An old metal antenna atop the house, pushed askew by a recent storm, somehow became detachable and cartable to a regional dump, along with other debris, thanks to the Ram 3500 Big Horn. Other stuff, things I had planned to leave alone until late spring or maybe next fall, gained a new cart-away urgency.
It reminded me of how truck labour days got started in New Iberia. A neighbour who was a construction worker or farmer stopped by my grandparents’ house to talk. People did that back then — see you sitting on a screened front porch, catch a whiff of boiling crayfish, stop by and talk.
“You usin’ your truck today, Roland?”
“No, Mama Provost, I’m off today. You need it?”
“I sure could use a hand. . . . These boys up here from New Orleans can help.”
“Hey, Mama, that crayfish I smell cookin?”
“Yep”
“C’mon, boys. Let get this done for Mama. . .”
And off we’d go to spend a day aboard a Ford, Chevrolet or Dodge truck — the latter now called Ram trucks. We got some of the crayfish.
There was just a “Thanks, honey” after the day’s labour in the Ram 3500 Big Horn. That was okay, too. The truck offered nostalgia-filled, guilt-free pleasure. It is a beast — equipped with a new engine for 2014, a gasoline-fueled 6.4-liter Hemi V-8 delivering a maximum 410 horsepower and 429 pound-feet of torque.
But Chrysler, maker of all things Ram, has given some economical beauty to the beast with its MDS (Multi-Displacement System)/Fuel Saver Technology, which allows the Ram 3500 Big Horn to operate with four cylinders at low speeds and under light loads but gives it full eight-cylinder power at higher speeds and with heavy loads. The fuel-saving technology — and that description is used here advisedly for a vehicle weighing nearly three tons — uses regular unleaded gasoline.
The 2014 Ram 3500 Big Horn hits all the chords that ring true with truck lovers — a large share of whom, demographically speaking, are men involved in construction, plumbing and other crafts trades, and agriculture. It is rough, tough, intimidating. Yet it also is big and comfortable enough to serve as overnight shelter if needed. It can be equipped to tow up to 30,000 pounds. Equipped with all-wheel drive, it can plow through mud, rocks and mush — but preferably in wide-open spaces. The Ram 3500 Big Horn is simply too wide, too big to make a dent-free go of it in narrow off-road passages.
But it can work. It will get the job done.
WP-Bloomberg
Nuts and Bolts
Bottom line: The 2014 Ram 3500 Big Horn is a heavy-duty, commercial-grade vehicle. It is not really for weekend cowboys who have a penthouse in the city. This is not, and never will be, a city-friendly pickup.
Ride, acceleration, handling: Acceleration is good. Ride is good on well-maintained roads but nearly brutal over rough, poorly maintained pavement. This is a heavy truck. Take curves at low speeds. Handle with care.
Head-turning quotient: The look is intimidating. Intended or not, it works. Fellow motorists give you space.
Body style/layout: The 2014 Ram 3500 Big Horn 4x4 crew cab is a front-engine, all-wheel-drive pickup truck with large side doors. It is a commercial-grade work truck available with rear-wheel or all-wheel drive.
Engine/transmission: It comes with a gasoline-fuelled 6.4-liter V-8 engine with variable valve timing and automatic cylinder displacement (operating on four or eight cylinders depending on vehicle speed and load). The engine delivers a maximum 410 horsepower and 429 pound-feet of torque. It is connected to a six-speed automatic transmission that also can be operated manually.
Capacities: Seats six people. The fuel tank holds 31 gallons of gasoline (regular grade is recommended). The truck can be equipped to tow up to 30,000 pounds.
Mileage: I don’t know what “improved fuel economy” means here. I averaged 17 miles per gallon in mostly highway driving.
Safety: Standard equipment includes anti-lock four-wheel disc brakes, trailer brake control, electronic stability and traction control, side and head air bags, and the Chrysler Uconnect emergency communications system.
Price: The 2014 Ram 3500 Big Horn Crew Cab 4X4 with the 6.4-liter gasoline V-8 starts at $41,660 in US. Price as tested is $49,055, including $7,890 in options (heated front seats, onboard navigation with rearview backup camera, Uconnect emergency communications system, satellite radio).
