Staying away from home for a long time tends to take you culturally away from it. For some, who hold no sense of belonging to their home or country, the fact would not actually matter. But for those who look forward to returning back, a cultural shock awaits them. This shock is at first quite strong, but with time mellows down to a faint trace of the past. But the period of adjusting back to one’s own home can be quite frustrating, despite how ironic it sounds. Several factors come into play in such situations, be it the society’s perception or the foreign aura one tends to carry around.
But for my father, Ravi, it all seems trivial. As I sat in the living room, shooting questions at him, his demeanour seemed very composed, but I sensed a distinct longing for ‘home’. “Home is something we create”, he says, “It may not always be a roof. It could as well be a tangible source of comfort or perhaps even a person”.
My father has been moving to new places every three years. As far as I can remember, the longest we have stayed in a place is for four years. When asked why he moved so frequently, he replied with a quick why not! He seems to feel that change is a vital part of a person’s life and he wanted to adapt himself to as many different situations as possible. The dull evening light glinted off his sparkling eyes as he spoke of his home.
“I don’t believe I’ll experience any kind of culture shock when I head back home,” he said “Moving to a different land for better opportunities did not erase the imbibed ethos and values.”
In a scenario where he would have to go back home, to India tomorrow, the biggest challenge he would face is supposedly the inability to interact with people he was brought up with. Extensive change of environments, he claims, has changed him and helped him become a better human being. When asked how staying away from home had morphed his character, his answer was curt and simple.
“Due to my exposure to different social, cultural and religious facets of this world, I feel like I have a pluralistic view of the world.”
He says it has also helped him interact with other cultures and religions, and his approach has been very optimistic.
The sun had set by now and the bulb quietly glowed above our heads. His strong sense of national identity is something he has passed on to me. As I ponder on what to ask next, his mind gallops in the fields of his homeland.
I was quite keen to know what cultural adjustments he would have to make on returning home.
“Not too many adjustments culturally”, he remarked, “I have been moulded into who I am through my culture.”
Ravi agrees that there would be a small cultural impact, but he believes that due to his inherently strong belief system, any such situation would be conquerable. Staying away from home for a long time can dilute the socio-cultural composition of our individuality.
“A pluralistic society is what one must get used to living in”, he explains. “In today’s world, one must be able to tolerate all kinds of cultures and religions, and this attitude comes when one lives away from home and crawls out of one’s comfort zone.”
He believes that the reason our evolution as a family has inclined towards a sub-nuclear one is that we have stayed away from home. He confessed that living away from home for a considerable amount of time had acquainted him with some harmless, trivial luxuries which are denied back home, like privacy. In a country like India where people are brimming with stories and excitement, it is difficult to find time for oneself. “It is something I would definitely miss”, he says with a smile.
Despite asking several times, he remains adamant. Sticking to his point, he honestly believes he will not experience any sort of cultural shock. What I inferred from this is that he has a pretty strong belief system.
“One cannot stay away from a country like India for too long”, he says. He eagerly looks forward to returning home and does not expect any form of shock, culturally. He believes that since he has been living in a pluralistic society all along, going back and adjusting to an old one is going to be a cakewalk. After he answers my last question, I notice how much there is to change. Change, the only constant facet of life, has several other facets to it. We have begun our journey to explore it and the list is too long to end. At the end, I came to understand how much meaning the word ‘home’ can hold for someone. It is far from something tangible; it’s a sense of belonging, a sense of comfort and a place where one can remain happy infinitely. Unlike my father, Ravi, many may experience a major culture shock of varying degrees of severity, but if it truly is your home, it’s worth the time.
As Emily Dickinson has said, “Where thou art, that is home”. I, too, believe that home is the right people, the right environment that you would return to. As dad said, to return to something like that, any form of culture shock is gladly acceptable.
